Got super duper wasted and walked home. I finally got home and got naked and decided to jerk one out to help sleep. Then some random person walked in.
I was in the wrong house.
Danced and swung my ass a lot, thinking i was alone in the office…i wasnt…my boss walked by, stood in the door frame. I notice him. we bot stared so long at each other akwardly
Get back twerk
Wasnt twerking. I cant even twerk
I bet you can if you put some heart into it
I think their comment is supposed to sound like “Get back to work” when spoken quickly 😁
Thanks prof
Oooooh. Im too autistic for stuff like that XD
Honestly this might be the best lemmy sub
Lemmy community*
We are in a submarine actually
I was returning an item to a friend, and her roommate let me in before we went into her room and realized she wasn’t there.
I was being snarky and shared a story with the roommate about my friend that wasn’t awful but one I probably shouldn’t have shared.
As I was coming up to the punchline of the story, I walked across her room to put the item on her side table, only to realize she was there the whole time. The blankets and pillows were shoved aside and blocked her from view if you were standing by the door.
The reason she had done that - and remained quiet for the whole story - was she was naked and getting munched on by her girlfriend, and they were both waiting for us to leave so they could continue.
There was like 4 seconds of locked eyes between all of us before I pulled a Skyrim NPC moment out of embarrassment. (“Well I guess she isn’t here, I’ll just leave the item I borrowed on her side table…”)
The whole situation, and especially my Skyrim moment, makes me cringe to this day.
I think that was a reasonable reaction?
Are you still friends?
No, but not because of this though. We just slowly drifted apart over time. Then I stepped away from social media and that was the last time I seen or heard anything from her.
Not in the same room, but my neighbour at my old place could see in my living room, if they where on their balcony.
During Rona, I got way too much into Just Dance and in summer I would play the game while half naked (because Rona and I felt secure at home + I sweat a lot). Well one afternoon I aas rocking to some Twice song (i think it was likey or signal?)… I did the same song 7 times or so in a row… and than turn around… and see my neighbour standing there on their balcony enjoying a beer… the very same night I ordered curtains.
Burying a dildo 9 inches into my ass
Did you realize after or during?
During. Hit a particularly good spot, made a noise and then the other person made a noise. My hyper repressed roommate who had opened the door to offer pizza and didn’t knock. I told him to fucking knock. Eye contact was made and I just sort of froze into place. They slowly closed the door and left. I had a panic attack and then went into the kitchen to apologize. He was a bit shook and just offered pizza. I ate a piece awkwardly on the couch. We sat in silence for like 10 minutes until I said “I told you to knock” and he said “Will you suck my dick” to which my eyebrows flew off my face. Apparently alcohol was involved before pizza was ordered and “gave him confidence to finally ask” to which I said “And you have asked and done the hard part which means when sober you can ask again, clear headed, and know its exactly what you want if you want. If it is, sure. If it aint, we forget about it.”
And before anyone goes “Yeah sure, that happened”, this is weirdly common amongst gay men who’ve lived in housing with various people from different backgrounds and countries. A lot of people are curious and wanna try. I’ve met a bizarre amount of gay men who’ve all had more or less the same encounter, typically minus the dildo part, and thank god all the ones I’ve taledk to have also said “Hit me up when sober.”
You can’t just share a story like that and not say how it ended. I’m invested now!
That is how it ended. It never happened and no one is to speak of it except anonymously on the internet when minimum of thirty years had passed.
He never mentioned it again. Was kind of disappointing because I had seen his dick once when he was just strutting naked around the house and, like, one tasty looking dick. Alas, I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself knowing that he wasn’t making a sober decision. Didn’t want to take advantage of him.
In situations like this, the trick is to not stop.
Instead of being the person who got caught, THEY become the person who kept watching.
My anxiety issues were a bit high for that at the time, being a virgin. Now? After losing my virginity getting railed by 30+ men in the dark room of a bathhouse? Absolutely.
Maintain eye contact and assert dominance?
Sink deeper as you stare them down.
Omg I absolutely would
walked in with half the floor to a guy masturbating in his dormroom. Immediately closed the door (I will emphasize unlocked door) and looked at everyone and said. No one saw anything, we all do it, I don’t want to ever hear about it, didn’t happen. The guy later was trying to say thanks and im like. nope. didn’t happen.
Total bro. You are right, everyone does it. Always kinda frustrated me people giving others shit like they’re not doing the exact same.
how can anyones answer beat masturbating. I mean its the gold standard.
Had an ingrown hair on my taint. Mom walked in to find me standing on the bathroom counter, balls pulled up, leaned back against the wall behind me, and squeezing it. She thought I was fingering my ass lmao
Holy shit! I recoiled in horror…Did you ever see her again? I would have moved to another country and changed my name
We mostly laughed about it after I explained what I was doing
yeh I guess that beats it lol
Biting my toenails
