i have two friends who i’ve known since my freshman year, i’ll call them e and k. of course, since i’ve known them for so long, i’ve trusted them with a certain thing: i’m autistic.
however, e and k (especially e), although usually nice people who include me and stuff, i feel like they just pity me and tend to make autism my entire identity.
i understand that both girls didn’t grow up with many friends due to being seen as “strange”, and are therefore quite cynical and lost hope about people.
in sophomore year when i confessed that i liked e: “sorry, i’m not into your kind of people.”
“how come people absolutely despise [me]? she’s so nice but people hate her for having tics and being autistic.”
“don’t be friends with them! they hate you, you know because they think you’re ret4rded.”
she’s gotten nicer now, and i know that e and k were trying to be nice about it and less blunt (that’s what they said and that they were quoting them, not saying so themselves), but i also don’t get (unless they overheard) how these people are comfortable talking to them about it.
what i’m more upset about, though, is the fact that so many people apparently think of me as just a “ret4rded kid” and nothing more despite being in multiple honors classes (all honors, in fact, since 8th grade).
Regardless of their intentions, you can do better.
E sounds like they’re trying to become a cult leader.
Don’t trust anyone who implies that they are the only one you can trust.
she tells me people hate me but never tell me because i’m autistic.
oh someone doesn’t like me? it’s because i’m retarded.
someone’s nice to me? they’re faking it.
you’re leaving me for them? please stay with me.
These are classic signs of abusive relationships, regardless of autism.
Trying to control and limit your interactions with others. Convincing you to abandon other friendships because those relationships pose a threat to their control over you. Preying on your own insecurities to further increase their power.
Totally agree.
Although as an outsider without any context I find it hard to “recommend” what to do, these are definitely red flags.
Also the comments about your autism are degrading and mean and your friend should know better. I wanna assume she just doesn’t know better, but that doesn’t change that she should really stop saying those things.
Some people are probably jealous of your accomplishments/performance, and people aren’t nice when they’re jealous.
Agreed. E sounds abusive. Cut contact, she’s using you and taking advantage of your disability because it’s all she sees you as.
