This is why pelicans are no longer allowed at the all you can eat buffet.

I definitely make dramatic sound effects when playing with my cat.

Her quote is one of the most badass in history. “I am not a traitor of my people. Those whom you are asking about will reveal themselves when they have succeeded in wiping out all you evildoers, to the last man.”

Things went rather badly for the Prince Eugen SS turds after the war.

So let’s do it like they do on the discovery channel!

HELLO. YOU’VE BEEN SELECTED AS…(raspy trucker voice) “Da next Pope”…PRESS 1 TO ACCEPT. PRESS 2 TO SPEAK TO A CARDINAL.

Step 1: Put it in wrong. Step 2: Put it in…wrong!?
Step 3: Magically it works.

I think if you sold off your stock before it became public information you’d be in deep poopie doopie.

How often should you shampoo your Baphomet? Asking for a friend.

Bro I SSH directly into the jpg using Microsoft Paint.

Eat the food Tina! -Napoleon Pakistan maybe

Goose operative commander here. This is an advanced combat team involving a spotter and a shooter, likely attempting to gain a full loaf of bread.

It would appear that like Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, squirrels can transform should the need arise.

There are over five million Americans who won’t get a handjob tonight. Please consider donating.