unalivejoy

Sounds like a gag from Monsters U or Monsters at Work. Wazowski tries to wink at someone, but just ends up blinking and he can’t do it no matter how hard he tries.

This is funny and relatable.

I bet you aren’t picky. Just the next flight out of the state is fine.

It’s wild to think that he would

Buy a plane ticket (but buying a ticket offline the day of is suspicious)

Reading online fanfiction is free. Sure, the quality varies, but I can quit any time I want. I just don’t want to.

Searching the filesystem. There’s no reason Windows Search needs to access the internet. Fucking Bing.

Just don’t confuse it with fluoride.

I’m gonna need this one explained to me.

Looks like a hydrogen atom with its single proton.

The windows partition is bloat. Delete it.