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Cake day: April 28th, 2025

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  • All the American “patriots” who spent their whole lives loudly insisting they’d do anything for their country ended up being cowardly garbage.

    "Wait, you mean I’d have to put myself at RISK? That’s not easy, it’s actually really hard! Never mind that I’ve built my whole cultural identity on doing great things against great odds- how dare you suggest I do something hard? You’re a keyboard warrior!”

    To them, historical revolutionaries and national heroes are just Disney characters without families, jobs, or dreams who never actually had anything to lose and whose victories were guaranteed.









  • April 1994. I was thirteen, at a sleepover with friends, playing Starfox on the SNES when my friend’s older brother told us he’d connected the home computer to the phone line.

    No Prodigy or AOL, this was something different- more raw and BBS-ey. We started messing around and figured out how to join a local chat room- I have no idea now what they were called back then. There were maybe fifteen people in there, all with William-Gibson-ass usernames.

    We were eating pizza and Sour Patch Kids, just fucking around, typing and watching the others. Then someone in the chat said, “Hey, turn on MTV. Kurt Cobain’s dead.” We flipped on the TV and sure enough, there was Kurt Loder breaking the news.

    Very vivid 1994 moment.