I can’t tell if he’s a really small koala bear, or a really big fat mouse. Everything about him says koala bear, until I see the tail.

Sounds like a tagline for a commercial. I just have no idea what it would be selling.

Yeah, but were you chuckling while deep throating a pistol?

Me, a 41 year old: …but why?

Absurdism is dead. I keep forgetting that.

See that, young women? If you’re hot, and in your 20s, it’s your duty to correct this world by sleeping with old men. Men can be conditioned to be better people if they’re getting laid willingly.

You think these angry old fucks in the GOP are getting laid consentually without paying? Fuck no. Their lives are miserable, so they want EVERYONE to be miserable.

Welcome to 2025 everybody!

MODS!!! BAN THIS!!! AHHHHH!!!

…wait. This isn’t Reddit.

Sorry everyone. Carry on.

Ok, how about we do it like I used to play the sims in 2000.

Every house has 5 workers, and 3 stay at home people. One of the stay at home people is a cook mostly. Won’t burn the house down. And can then practice other skills. While people are at work.

The second stay at home person is similar, but instead of cooking, this person is a handyman.

The third stay at home person is actually a rotating spot. Why? Because this person just stays home all day every day and increases their skills. All the skills. Then when thats done, they go back into the work force, and we pull another person OUT of the workforce to enter that 3rd slot.

Eventually all 6 of the non-permanent stay at homers will have a full set of skills.

And the two stay at home people will cook, and maintain the house, while socializing. This ensures the house has family friends. Because you know your boss won’t give you a raise until you have 4 family friends.

And the 6 workers will all have high paying jobs. Which means they can afford a maid, and a gardener.

Hey! That was my taco! It’s been just like a taco to me!

I was going to make a joke about that being what the GOP wants.

But then when I reread the joke, it sounded like I was just an idiot who didn’t comprehend what you were saying.

So instead, lets all just assume I made a funny joke, which daisy chained off of your comment, and mocked fascism, and everybody understood that I’m not an idiot, but also I’m the greatest comedian alive, with the biggest penis, and everybody loves me.

We all on the same page?

Ok, cool. Now EVERYBODY thinks I’m an idiot.

Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool.

Sloppy 3rds.

…???

I’m so lost here.

This is a plinko situation. You can drop identical plinko chips in the same place, ten different times and get 10 different outcomes.

Same thing here. How things play out all depend on who committed suicide, how good looking the bully is, the race of the bully, which cops investigate, how well liked the victim is, which direction the wind was blowing at 12:37pm, ect ect ect.

…?

What am I missing here?

No no no. You’re thinking of Seaseme Street. The count. He counts.

How many times can I make bad jokes? 1…2…3!!! Ah ah ah!

The car you downloaded? Because YOU would totally download a car?

/hj? Did you just give him a handjob?

Yes! Finally! Somebody who gets that violence IS the answer.

…and also highly entertaining if video recorded. Lets make the webcam record when we punch!

Imagine that. Someguy is watching pornhub, just jackin it, and then his webcam records him as he suddenly without warning gets punched in the face.

And we all watch.

This is how I learned to be selfish. I like helping others, but whenever I do, I find I’m not helping, but rather doing everything for everyone else. So now I’m selfish, and feel bad, until I remind myself why.

History never repeats itself…but it often rhymes.