Can confirm, hedge porn was a thing in Scotland too.

As for sex education, our chemistry teacher once showed us how to put a condom on a banana. That was about it.

Hold my deviated septum, I’m going in!

All good, my man!

I thought we were on time travellers’ café/diner. Everytime he kills JFK, hoping for a different historical outcome each time, he comes here afterwards for the breakfast special.

i bet the guy in the back in the blue probably killed jfk

More than once.

May your USB plug never be the right way up first time you try to insert it.

JK, this is true for everyone, every time!

Well, strangling animals, golf and masturbating.

0118 999 88199 9119 725 3

Emergency, which service do you require? Fire, Police or Ambulance?

Is your brain wearing a shell suit as it does that?

Bus drivers have entered the chat.

Yeah, you could easily just stir the spinach through immediately before serving the rice. I might try that next time. Like I say, always tweaking!

Za’tar Salmon And Spinach Rice

• Make a thick dressing from mix a tbsp of sumac, 2 of za’tar, and 1 of olive oil.
• Season skin on salmon fillets with a little S&P (bearing in mind za’tar also has a little salt in it) then spread the dressing over the salmon. Not too thick, you don’t want a crust, but you do want the salmon covered.
• Bake the salmon in a 180’C oven for, maybe, 10 minutes and check it for doneness. It’ll vary depending on the fillets you have.

I like to serve this with a West African spinach rice.

• Toast some cashews and set aside.
• Gently fry some onion and garlic then add some washed rice, crushed vermicelli, a little curry powder (an African blend if you can find it, or a Jamaican blend if you can’t), and continue to gently fry until the rice is starting to get a little toasty and the curry powder fragrant.
• Add twice as much chicken stock as you had rice, bring to a simmer, cover, and set it as low as it’ll go.
• After 10 minutes, most of the liquid will have been absorbed. Take the lid off the pan and quickly cover the rice with chopped spinach then recover the pan, turn off the heat and leave it for 5 minutes.
• Mix the now-wilted spinach in with the rice, fluff it up and serve with the toasted cashews on the top and a good wedge of lemon per person since both rice and salmon love a good hit of lemon juice.

Bit of both. Generally what happens is that I come across a reference to a dish that makes me want to try it, then look up a bunch of recipes to get an understanding of how to make it, mix and match from the recipes I’ve found, then write up what I did. But I could probably buy the ingredients and cook at least half of these dishes from memory.

I also maintain a spreadsheet of what I cook every day which helps me not repeat dishes too often (e.g. I can tell you that it’s only been 21 days since I last cooked the Za’tar Salmon and Spinach Rice someone else asked about in another comment, so I’ll probably give it at least a month before I cook it again.

I also score (and get the wife and kids to score) each meal when I first cook it (to my satisfaction - sometimes it takes a couple of goes to tweak it). The ones I listed here are all ones which worked out ok and which I enjoyed. The kids inevitably score veg-based meals low but I mostly ignore them!

You hope his wife is significantly younger than 15?

Er, I feel like this is my time:

African Chicken And Jollof Rice
Asparagus And Crayfish Tail Tagliatelle
Aubergine Laksa
Baked Salmon W. Lemon Couscous
Barbecued Spatchcock Chicken With Potato Salad
Blackened Chicken And Dirty Rice
Blackened Salmon And Dirty Rice
Burgers
Butter Chicken
Cajun Chicken Thighs And Dirty Rice
Caldeirada - Portuguese Fish Stew
Carbonara
Carnitas
Chicken Adobo
Chicken And Butternut Squash Tray Bake
Chicken And Mushroom Casserole
Chicken Biryani
Chicken Caesar Salad
Chicken Enchiladas
Chicken Fried Rice
Chicken Kebabs And Couscous
Chicken Kyivs
Chicken Milanese
Chicken Paprikash
Chicken Ramen
Chicken Shawarma
Chicken Taquitos
Chicken Thighs - Greek Style
Chicken Tikka Kebabs
Chilli Con Carne
Doner Kebabs
Fish Pie
Fish, New Potatoes, Asparagus
Fish, New Potatoes, Samphire
Gnocchi And Green Veggies
Grilled Chicken Tacos
Jamaican Chicken Curry
Jambalaya
Kedgeree
Kofte Kebabs And Koshari Rice
Mac ‘N’ Cheese
Mediteranean Chicken And Cous Cous
Oklahoma Onion Burgers
Paneer Curry Wraps
Pasta Alla Norcina (Sausage & Cream)
Penang Curry
Penne Alla Vodka
Peri Peri Chicken
Pesto Pasta
Portuguese Baked Cod
Portuguese Green Soup
Ragu Alla Bolognese Tagliatelle
Ragu Alla Genovese Tagliatelle
Red Beans And Rice
Red Salmon Pasta
Risotto – Chicken And Asparagus
Risotto – Mushroom
Roast Chicken
Salmon, Asparagus, And Crushed Potatoes
Sausage And Potato Tray Bake
Sicilian Chicken Spaghetti
Smoked Salmon, Lemon And Garlic Spaghetti
Steak/Chicken And Chips
Stir-Fried Tofu
Tandoori Chicken
Tortellini Soup With Chicken & Spinach
Tuna Pasta Bake
Tuscan Chicken, Bean, And Spinach Soup
Tuscan Pork Pasta
Veggie Chilli
White Chilli
Za’tar Salmon And Spinach Rice

Edit to add: I can dig up my recipe for any of these if anyone is interested.

I learned how to solve them from a book when they first came out in the late 70s. I can still remember enough of the moves to get two layers, but not the third.

I mean, I have a lawyer I’ve used for a few things over the last decade or so, and they’d be my goto, but they’re not on retainer.

Mahi Bhut Jolokia sauce is my go to.

“The other religion is the true one.”

Go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for this all to blow over.