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Cake day: July 4th, 2023

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  • ByteJunk@lemmy.worldtoLemmy Shitpost@lemmy.worldDammit dad
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    21 hours ago

    You underestimate how hot a bowl of porridge can be.

    The Porrigean theory has drawn a lot of attention lately from top theoretical physicists, and it addresses this very phenomenon.

    It advances the hypothesis that the Big Bang was in fact a Primordial Porridge Bowl in a 4 dimensional plane that was so unbelievably hot that it was immediately dropped on the floor, and the projections of this spilled Primordial Porridge into a 3D plane are what we observe as “our universe”.







  • Most foreign official gifts which the President and First Lady do not retain for themselves are transferred to the National Archives by the Gift Unit, and become part of a presidential library museum collection.

    Any foreign gift that is of substantial value is considered a gift to “the people of the USA”, not it’s president, so if the president wants to keep it they must purchase it.

    They’re trying to find loopholes to this rule by transferring it this way or that way, so Trump can keep it, despite it being clearly against the law.


  • It is not, all public schools where I live are prepared to handle this, there are nation-wide protocols for it.

    My kid has a severe food allergy, and has to carry adrenaline pens with him at all times.

    This was documented in the enrollment process, and this “flag” prompts action by a bunch of different people, like the nutritionist that creates the school meal plans so that they can adjust his, and also the meal prep workers, who will avoid contamination when preparing the meals.

    The health services that work with the school are also informed, and they include this in school health prep plan, which eventually causes the teacher and helping staff to receive training on how to identify allergic symptoms and how to administer the adrenaline pens, and cautions that need to be taken when food is around.

    Do you think that letting kids starve or die because of a food allergy is a better alternative, or what? This is literally what I pay taxes for, so that all kids (not just mine) can learn and have a full belly.





  • FOX News Special Report: Alderaan Destroyed—Emperor Trump Responds to Rebel Threat

    In a decisive move aimed at quelling a growing rebellion, the Empire today confirmed the destruction of the planet Alderaan, a Core World long suspected of harboring anti-government extremists. The response, authorized under the leadership of Emperor Donald J. Trump, marks what Imperial officials are calling a “necessary and proportionate show of strength” in the face of escalating terrorist threats.

    White House equivalent officials aboard the Galactic Capitol Starcruiser said Alderaan’s destruction via the Empire’s new defensive installation—the Death Star—was “not taken lightly.” Grand Moff Tarkin, speaking on behalf of Emperor Trump, called Alderaan “a hub of insurgent activity, fake news proliferation, and anti-Imperial propaganda.”

    “Alderaan was warned. The Rebels were warned. And yet, they chose to test us,” Tarkin stated. “Thanks to Emperor Trump’s bold leadership, peace and order are being restored to the galaxy.”

    Conservative Reaction Praises Trump’s Resolve

    Imperial Senate Republicans, though now largely ceremonial under Trump’s streamlined executive rule, praised the move. “This shows the galaxy that lawlessness will not stand,” said former Senator Gorran Vale (R-Corellia). “Under Emperor Trump, we are no longer appeasing anarchists. We are protecting hard-working star citizens.”

    FOX News political analyst Kayla Deen noted, “For years, Alderaan’s elites flaunted their liberal values, resisted Imperial policies, and even funded Rebel operations. Emperor Trump promised to bring law and order back to the galaxy, and today, he delivered.”

    Democrats and Alien-Sympathizers Decry Action

    Predictably, fringe left-wing groups and alien rights activists across the Outer Rim immediately condemned the action. The Rebellion, officially labeled a terrorist organization by the Empire, issued an unverified statement claiming Alderaan was a peaceful planet with no weapons. Experts at the Trump Imperial Policy Institute dismissed the claims as “Rebel disinformation.”

    Former Senator Mon Mothma, now in hiding, accused the Empire of “committing genocide.” In response, White House Comms Officer Jerrek Dalton told FOX News, “She’s been on the wrong side of history for years. This is about security, not politics.”

    A Stronger, Safer Galaxy

    Imperial markets responded positively to the display of power, with starship stocks rising 4.3% in late Coruscant trading. Citizens across the Mid Rim reportedly welcomed the message of order. One citizen on Naboo, speaking anonymously, said, “It’s about time someone stood up to these entitled planets that think they’re above the law.”

    While critics continue to push back, Emperor Trump remains unfazed. In a brief holonet transmission, he declared, “We are making the Empire great again. One rebel world at a time.”

    Stay tuned to FOX Galactic News for continuing fair and balanced coverage of the Rebellion, Imperial security, and Emperor Trump’s efforts to restore greatness to the galaxy